If you’re open and honest, I always say go ahead and ask! If the sex is shitty, it’ll only be awkward if you both allow it to be. And, if you’re long-time friends, I’m sure you’ll find a way to talk about it. Now I just need some casual sex, too!
I feel a little bit like a tool here, but can you explain exactly what a trans is? I've heard it thrown around, and I just want some clarification so I don't say anything accidentally insulting to anyone.
I am actually a great person to ask this to. As an ally, I think I should use my privilege to educate others. However, I am not trans*, so I cannot speak for/from that community.
A very vague definition of someone who identifies as trans (which is short for Transgender) is: Someone who identifies outside, beyond, or adjacent to the tradition male/female binary.
As far as grammar, “a trans” is not an appropriate use of the word. You could says “a trans person”. Trans is a label, not an object.
Also, typically I put an asterisk after trans (so trans*) to signify the diversity of identities within and surrounding the trans label.
Did I miss anything? Did I get anything wrong? I want to member check with people to make sure I am getting this right.
This critique is not meant to downplay the hardships and mental health issues that many Transgender youth face. It is meant to complicate the notion that because these youth are at risk for suicide, this is the only thing we should write about. Cisgender LGB youth are also at increased risk for suicide, however there exists a multitude of literature that also praises their strengths and victories. We must also have this balance in the literature on Transgender youth.
Part of the reason Transgender literature in general has been so limited to bodies is because a popular understanding of being trans is that individuals are stuck in the wrong body. Everything that it means to be Transgender is condensed into a negative physical experience. On the contrary, many Transgender folks love their bodies and are proud to live in them. Or, they are not concerned with their bodies as much as the gendered binaries that exist in the world around them. But regardless of a particular individual’s relationship their body, there is no Transgender person who is singularly defined by the physical. There are always social, cultural, emotional, spiritual, and other factors that build a person. Far from being stuck in the wrong body, this community seems to be stuck in the wrong stereotype.
I’ve always considered myself a hard femme/soft butch although they are completely different at least in my mind. Not that I have a need to label myself as anything further than lesbian, but I’ve never completely fit in with being “Butch” or “femme” completely. My…
This is really beautifully written and heartfelt. I think it expresses what a lot of a us feel - that just being who we are isn’t considered ‘queer’ enough and so sometimes we feel the urge to change.
I think you are beautiful/handsome/adorable/cute in everything you wear and do.
not that there’s anything wrong with being butch! and not that femme and butch are always necessarily mutually exclusive for all people. but it’s like, i’m FEMME therefore everything I do is inherently femme because I, a femme, am doing it.
so…. i was going to bold my favorite parts, but then I bolded everything.