fuckyeahfemmes:

what is even DISCUSSED at a “femme conference”…? how to continue reinforcing stereotypes and relegating people to specific, pre-determined categories based on SUPER out-dated notions on what it means to be a gay woman? laaaame. Source: juliaperchance

Probably anyone who would attend a femme conference wouldn’t feel that they were “relegated” to that category, they would self-identify as femme (asserting their own sense of agency around their sexuality and gender identity) and they would probably want to discuss issues such as stereotypes about queerness and femininity, thus proving that “femme” is something that is constantly being redefined and redetermined, not something that is simply forced upon them. It is fine if you don’t identify with this gender identity, but why do you feel the need to assert that it is “lame” if other people do? Is it really that threatening to you? Not everyone feels that butch/femme identities are passe and oppressive, not everyone feels that gender and sexuality are progressing forward to some state of blissful indeterminacy in which those who don’t identify with any given category are invested with moral superiority. The fact that people have such negative associations with femme identification, (even and especially within the gay community) is the reason that this annual event happens- providing a space to think through these issues in a non-threatening environment.

First, way to use an ableist slur in your femmephobic comments. Two points for you.

Second, Actually, we will probably discuss people like you, who create a heirarchy of queerness and see femmes as oppressing themselves (even though changing the way we express ourselves would be the real oppressive force). 

THIS is why femme spaces need to happen. And please, those of you who do not identify as femmes, speak out against comments like this.  Femme allyship is not just about standing on the sidelines.  CALL THIS OUT.  Femmes shouldn’t have to be the only ones doing the work.